Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Do Not Bend, Fold, Spindle or Mutilate, Part 028.

My US Navy paychecks used to carry the strident warning, "Do Not Bend, Fold, Spindle or Mutilate". With or without the warning, I would still have treated these paychecks like boxes of fragile crystal. I really didn't need a warning label to ensure the checks got safely to the bank. But that warning always made me chuckle a bit--as do the pay amounts that were on those checks amuse me now. And as much as the words of warning entertained me then, I was also in turn perplexed by the cautionary verbiage surrounding the concept of 'spindling'. I never really did understand the 'Spindle' bit...I mean, what the heck did they mean by that? I guess I could have wrapped the checks around my forearm to simulate spindling, but I otherwise didn't carry the machinery or the knowledge necessary to do a proper job of spindling anything...unless it accidentally got inside my sea bag on laundry day. Then it was more likely to be horrifically abused in ways far more terrible than spindling. I mean--over the years I've had cell phones that have experienced worse catastrophies and more 'high-seas adventure' than I have, then or now. But...I think we can all agree here that I've seriously digressed.

Right along with my decisions against bending, folding or mutilating the Nautilus, I've also decided NOT to spindle it. BerT3 spindle it, that is. In fact, I've gone to the extreme measure of selling the spindles so as not to accidentally install them. They're already bought and paid for by their new owner, and are on their way to sunny California, following in the wake of a lot of other purist despised parts I've owned and sold, and fads I've followed and subsequently abandoned. I now have to say it...I miss them already and am making plans to go visit them this summer.

So..."So Long, BerT3 Lowered Spindles!" The torch is passed, the deed is done. I hope that spindle set #028 treats its new owner well, and once again extend my sincerest thanks to their new owner for removing that temptation from my VW world of options.